Notes from a Jersey Girl

by Lisa G Westheimer

Mary Pat Christie You’re No Jersey Girl

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Happy 4th of July to you Mary Pat Christie, but not to any other Jersey Girl and her family who wanted to go to a State beach or park this weekend.

Let me remind you Mary Pat Christie, that even with 6 months to go you are still First Lady of the State of New Jersey.  Let me remind you that as that title holder you are supposed to be the uber Jersey Girl; the gold standard of Jersey Girls, so maybe you should act like one:

Jersey Girls have compassion for other people

They welcome strangers into their homes from all races, walks of life, religions, and financial classes. They figure the more the merrier and their house is your house, not like you where your house is really our house given it’s paid for on our nickel and you keep us all shut out of it.

Jersey Girls always have enough Sunday gravy in the pot in case someone shows up or has a car break down nearby and needs some love and comfort

They don’t sit around on empty beaches surrounded by security to keep the riff raff out.  They realize riff raff are always the life of the party.

Jersey Girls put their foot down when their husbands behave like idiots

When their husbands come up with a harebrained scheme just one hand on a cocked hip with a long finger nail pointed at them usually does the trick, and when it doesn’t, a slap upside the head does. We keep our husbands from hurting the little guy and being a bully just because he can.

No Jersey Girl in their right mind would EVER deny anyone access to New Jersey’s gorgeous, unique and treasured recreation spots for ANY reason 

Got that?  AND they would never make their employees be in the heartless position at risk of losing their jobs to turn people away.  Jersey Girls are the ones who are supposed to send them to “run and errand” and then rip the barriers down themselves and let the people in to enjoy THE LAND THEIR TAX DOLLARS PAY FOR.

I guess from your beach chair in front of your Governor’s mansion beach house you didn’t see the poor hikers with their bed rolls and camping gear strapped to their backs, one walking a dog with mincing steps around the broken glass on the shoulder of very busy and dangerous Route 206 in Sussex County because they couldn’t get into Stokes Stake Forest to camp or hike that part of the Appalachian Trail because your husband is a jerk and a bully and had to prove a point by closing all the State Parks this weekend.

AND ANOTHER THINGJersey Girls don’t go ahead with their kid’s birthday parties while the state parks are closed on TAX PAYER PAID FOR LAND just because they have a security detail and a helicopter.  They think of all the other hard working Jersey Girls who only get 1 or 2 days of 4th of July weekend off because they work 3 jobs to make ends meet AND PAY THEIR TAXES.  They think of them, and how, that 1 or 2 days they get off are so precious and saved for parties for THEIR children and THEIR HEART BREAKS at the thought of how disappointed those children would be with their toys and coolers and bbq stuff to be turned away at the gate on the one day they’ve been so looking forward to!  No Jersey Girl would ever want another Jersey Girl to try to explain that to a kid.  That the reason they are turned away is the jerk with the beach mansion with the helicopter who lives on tax $$$ couldn’t give a flying fig about their constituents.

Most of all, if you are a Jersey Girl of means, you would teach your children that everyone is created equal and deserves love and respect no matter how much money or titles or helicopters they have or don’t have AND that being the Governor’s kids, their bling and toys are paid for by others, some of them with a heck of alot less money than them.

You know what Mary Pat Christie?  You are no Jersey Girl and I feel sorry for you.  You have no heart, no compassion, no vision.  You are blind, deaf and dumb to anyone not in your circle which is a very bland life indeed.   You’d better enjoy that beach and that helicopter while you can because the meter runs out in 6 months.



Author: Lisa G Westheimer

I am a ceramic and glass artist living and working in West Orange, NJ, USA. I have a masters degree in ceramics from Montclair State University and teach at the Montclair Art Museum, both in Montclair, NJ. Prior to this I was co-owner of "The Manhattan Expedition Inc" and was a NYC Building Code and Zoning Specialist in Manhattan, my main claim to fame as a Loft Conversion Specialist in Soho and Tribeca in the 1980's and 1990's, and a specialist in Landmarks Preservation and Special Places of Assembly, particularly the Fashion Shows in Bryant Park and any weird sort of thing happening in Manhattan worthy of getting thrown out of the Commissioner's office. But mostly I'm a Jersey Girl, born in Rutherford, schooled in a private school in Montclair, did a stint living in Greenwich Village then Soho before fleeing to Llewellyn Park in West Orange, NJ where I learned how to clean and restore stuffed bald eagles!!!! I can mostly be found in my studio or on the campus of The Montclair Art Museum (where I teach) or on the back of my horse Buddy, either in my backyard or at a farm in Sussex County.

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